Monday, December 29, 2008

Christmas 2

We had our family Christmas here yesterday. Everyone was here except my brother in law & niece. It was a wonderful time and we all enjoyed ourselves visiting and just being with each other. I found that yesterday was the worst day yet for missing Dennis. I cooked the entire meal except one pie. I know exactly what Dennis would have been doing if he had been here with me. He enjoyed cooking and helping me cook. He would have been totally involved with all of it. PLUS we would have had a least one more potato dish (sweet potatoes) and some type of jello salad. Neither of which I did. Everyone felt the loss of not having Dennis with us for the day. We have had Christmas here at our home for the past two years. So although we all felt sadness, we all did enjoy being with each other & being together. As Willie & I talked today, you just never know what tomorrow may bring. It is so important to be with those you love and are close to whenever you can. Do not miss an opportunity because everything can change extremely just don't know..................

Friday, December 26, 2008

Snow, Snow, Snow

We had a lot of wind last night & snow. Perhaps not that much snow (only an inch on the snow board) ---------but the wind took all the snow it could find & blew it into all the plowing I did yesterday. I did the driveway/yard and the alpaca field yesterday afternoon. I had to redo about 1/2 of the yard/driveway this morning. The snow plow came by about 9 am & pushed the snow from the middle of the road to the side INCLUDING in front of the I had to plow out in front of the mailbox to help the mailman. I am no longer able to plow around the garage area to the east as there are too many big drifts. I do not think I can get into the alpaca field again either...............too many drifts. They seem to be getting around ok & perhaps we will need to do some more hand shoveling...........time will tell. Wolf Creek Pass got over 24 inches overnight. Of course the ski area is open but the pass is closed so who knows who can make it up to ski as it appeared that both ends were closed. La Veta pass is closed also. Tomorrow is supposed to be better & I certainly hope it is.

At least my home area is clear tomorrow for the fiber ladies when they show.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to each of you out there in cyber land. We went to our Christmas Eve church service last night. It was good except for missing Dennis. He would have been singing with the praise team. We then went to a friend's house for an hour or so & had some food and a good time visiting. They did not want us to be alone on Christmas eve.

Today, originally my Aunt & Mother were going to come for Christmas...........but it is snowing & doesn't look like it will quit. My Aunt doesn't want to drive in bad weather (20 miles) and I really don't want to either. So they will spend a quiet day alone and Willie & I will still have our widowed neighbor across the street over for a Christmas meal. On Sunday my brother & wife will be here from Houston, so we will have our family Christmas on Sunday with most of my siblings here & Mom.

I hope your day is a wonderful day as you celebrate the birth of God's son, Jesus.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Special time, Special people

Yesterday my first husband's brother & wife came for a quick visit. They live in Belen, NM. It has been about 2 1/2 years since we last saw them. They would have been here for Dennis' memorial but were out of the country when he died & didn't make it back in time. So they came for a quick visit on their way to Kansas/Southeastern CO for Christmas. We had a good visit and it was so great to see them again.

In the meantime we got another inch of snow this morning. I've been plowing out with the ATV since I didn't do a "great" job last week. Everything was going well until about 11 am when the wench broke on the ATV. DUH, just when I thought I had everything "ready to go". Anyway the wire shredded or split or whatever it does when it breaks. So I have a friend who is getting it fixed for me.

I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas.

Monday, December 22, 2008

The Twins

The twins that aren't twins but look like twins are named.

When my friend was here from CA almost two weeks ago we talked about naming them. Then it struck me that perhaps Dennis' grandchildren, Tyler & Travis would either like to name them--- or name the cria after them. After much consultation (thank you Sandi) the conclusion came to::: The lighter colored cria who was born first will be named Tyler & the darker one will be Travis.

Sunday, December 21, 2008


I think Sunday's are the worst. I miss seeing Dennis up on stage singing with the praise team. Sometimes it's hard to even sing. Sunday was a special day in our home, the one day that was different than the rest of the week.

This time of the year has so many memories anyway and most of them are related to grieving. My daughter was born at 28 weeks back in 1980 on Nov. 24th, a Monday (just like this year). She was very ill and this was before many of the new medications for premature babies. She died Dec. 2nd. My first husband had a bone marrow transplant in 1987. He was admitted to the hospital on June 16th and died December 25th without ever leaving the hospital. My father died unexpectedly the Saturday after Thanksgiving 3 years ago. Now Dennis is gone also, and at the same time of the year. But still Sunday's are the hardest and when I miss him the most as far as days of the week.

In the meantime I have managed to get all my Christmas cards done. I have bought all the presents and mailed them off. I'm planning on a small Christmas get together here on Christmas day with a larger one on the 28th when my brother & his wife are here.

The alpaca seem to be doing well & enjoying the cold weather (unlike me).

I wish everyone a Merry Christmas and most of all show love to your loved ones & let them know how much you love each one of them. Remember Christ, He loves us each one. I praise God for His love & guidance shown to me not only all through my life but especially the past 5 weeks. Praise His Name.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

One Month

Well, it has been one month or 4 weeks and 2 days since Dennis' accident and death. Sandi (his daughter) and I were talking one day about how it seems like forever since it happened and how it seems like yesterday at the same time. I know that will stay true for a while due to having been in this place before. I miss him.

Today has been a snowy day. We've had at least 3 - 4 different snow storms that have come through & it is only 3 pm. The last one is blowing through now. I managed to plow out the female alpaca field pretty well. I've partly done the driveway area. The wind is blowing & blowing with gusts up to 35 mph right now. Really a good day to stay inside.

Tomorrow I'm hoping Spring will arrive!! : ) I know, what a crazy thing to say ---- but I think this winter is gong to be a lot like last winter with a lot of SNOW and COLD. So I'm more than ready for Spring. I'm just not going to hold my breath.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Best Investment

Well, we had over 4 inches of snow last night & early this morning. I know you are all wondering what is the best investment advise ever.............................well here it is: an ATV with a snow plow on it.

I think the first actual larger item Dennis HAD to have when we moved to the farm was an ATV. I really felt that was not a necessity. I felt this was a "boys toy"..........and he wanted his "boys toy". So I said go ahead & get the ATV and the snow plow you want to go with it.

You must understand that we had been out here at Christmas to see my parents numerous times over the 14+ (at that time) years we had been married & never was there much snow at all. In fact the year we bought this house there was all of 1/2" of snow that's all.

Over the past 3 years for sure I have decided that the ATV with the plow was the absolute best investment ever. Dennis would get out and plow the entire area around the driveway etc. Then he would plow up to our neighbors & plow her front yard driveway area & sometimes her back (she is over 80 & lives alone). Depending on the amount of snow it could take up to 3 hours to get everything done. He LOVED doing it so much.

About 3 months ago I was looking through a Sierra Trading Post catalog & came across a pair of women's quilted bib overalls for working outside in the cold. Plus on line they were offering an extra 20% off any purchase. Well, I bought myself this wonderful pair of winter overalls.........they are a teal green outside & a purple/pink color inside. Girl stuff!!! They fit perfect also.

I plowed last week. This week I made some modifications. I blocked Hershey (male alpaca) from his normal walking area & opened 3 gates to get into the girl's field. With the cria it is hard for them to break through the snow. We now have around 7 - 8 inches on the ground. I then plowed through the field so they could get around easier. I'm also hoping this will help them NOT make their poop piles in the loafing shed. Then I came back out & did all the area Dennis usually does. I didn't make it to the neighbor's, but another neighbor did, which he sometimes does anyway.

I put Jamie on the back of the ATV. She used to love to ride behind Dennis while he was plowing things out. She would peek around & look to see where they were headed. She had fun. I stayed warm in my new outfit, which was good as I do not like being cold.

I miss him..................................many thoughts today as I did what he normally loves doing.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Christmas Cards

For Christmas cards this year Dennis & I bought some pocket calendars, 50 of them. They say D W Fiber Farm & have our names on them, etc. I've been passing some of them out to people who have been here. I've also forgotten to give some out.

Last night I decided I had best get started on Christmas cards, etc. There are approximately 100 people on my list due to relatives, and having lived in Northern CO, Santa Fe, Roswell & southern CA previously. I decided a short, 3/4 page typed note would do along with cards.

Every card I have to stop and think to not add Dennis' name. I have to remember did I send this person a bulletin from the service due to them either sending money or flowers or whatever. Then who do I give the calendars to.............?? I'm waiting to see how many I have left or if I run short.

More snow anticipated is cold and has been all week.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008


Well, no matter what the calendar says, Winter has arrived. We knew the storm was coming & I was pretty well prepared. Sure enough over 4 inches of snow arrived overnight. My friend from CA, Carolyn, was thrilled. She loves snow & had not seen this much for a long, long time.

I had to have help getting the ATV going since I hadn't started it for a while. But I now know exactly what to do & have the equipment needed for next time. First we shoveled out to the females & their crias. Then shoveled out to the others. Finally I got the ATV going and worked with the snow plow on it for the driveway area. I think today it strongly hit me harder about Dennis' death. He so loved the snow. He loved running the ATV with the snow plow on it. He always had Jamie (his corgi) behind him on the snow plow when he did the area. I took Jamie with me today and I would suspect she still misses her "Daddy" a lot. Dennis always did the neighbor's front driveway & if possible her back driveway. Another friend did her back driveway this morning (she had cataract surgery this morning) but I finally made it over to do her front area and her porch.

Carolyn took pictures & enjoyed seeing the snow. Our high today was 29.6 degrees F and we are anticipating a low of at least -2 degrees.

Tomorrow the vet is coming out to do the bloodwork for the ARI registration on the cria and also BVD testing. Should be an interesting day since I have two "half catch pens". Dennis wasn't through reworking the new one & had partly torn apart the old one. So tomorrow morning we redo what we can & see if it will work.

Seems like there isn't a minute during the day that I don't miss Dennis.

But God is good.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008


It has been a rough two weeks. It seems like only yesterday that Dennis was doing this and that around the farm. I "look" for him periodically when I "forget" all that has happened. I think of him in the evenings when I watch TV and Jamie (his corgi) is lying on the couch OR looking out the back door for him. Jamie is still looking and waiting for her "daddy". I miss him tremendously.

The ATV has the plow on it & is ready for our first big snowstorm. So that is one good thing. I have cell phone numbers now for most all the neighbors who want to do whatever they can to "help". At the bank yesterday the person who helped us with our house loan 5 years ago finally was able to speak with me. It wasn't easy as he is very emotional & has deeply felt the loss of Dennis. He drives by within a half a mile of us morning & night and will do most anything for me also. Friends, I'm so glad God provided us with friends.

I have another friend coming today. Carolyn is from CA and a very close friend. She is who taught me to spin & got me started on knitting. Carolyn is special & is coming for 10 days. It will be so nice to have her here. It is wonderful to have friends from all over and I appreciate each one of you.